Heartbeat

Hello, lovely blogging community. I feel like I’ve been a bit missing in action for a couple of weeks, and it is weird to not be posting regularly here anymore. I thought I should at least take some time to post about what I’ve been doing. The truth is, I’ve been spending most of my time trying to craft posts for Small Still Voices every Friday. I love being a part of that community of sisters, but it has taken a lot of my energy away from Chased by Light.

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It’s not just Small Still that’s been keeping me busy though, it’s also the two new jobs that I started. I’ve already blogged about the sudden change on Small Still, and I’m still getting used to it. I’m so grateful to have the chance to work now, but I haven’t quite hit the sweet spot when it comes to managing my time yet. I also haven’t hit the sweet spot when it comes to being Light at work, but I’m praying through it.

Tonight I am praying that God will help me to learn what it means to pray without ceasing,  and to help me actually do it during my shift tomorrow. I work very early shifts at this retail job, and I tend to too tired to focus on Christ or the other people there. I don’t want to be like that.

I’m still reading Chronicles (now on to book 2) and Luke, and I’m sorry I haven’t written many blog posts about them yet. As I read about David and Solomon and their plans to build a temple for the LORD, I am awed by the fact that God chose them as leaders for the people he also chose as His own. I know David’s earthy history, and I am amazed by the faith he pronounced at the end of his life and psalms he penned and the deep relationship he, a sinner, had with the Creator of the universe.

Sometimes, I feel an ache in my soul to know Christ more. I’ve been thinking about His humanity, and His divinity, and how many times Luke records that Jesus spent time in prayer. Jesus, who was by nature part of God Himself, needed to spend time in communion with His Father. I need communion with my Father. I want to fall in love with Him over and over. I also want to remind myself that He is too big for me. I can never have Him all figured out, and I don’t ever want to think that I do.

I’ve been listening a lot to Judah & The Lion’s album Firstfruits. (Please go get it on Noisetrade, it’s free!) They have a song that says “I’ve tasted and I’ve seen the sweetness of our King, I’m taken by the warmth of Your embrace.” And still another that I may have completely wrong, but when I sing it, I say, “I feel Your heartbeat, and I am home.”

Because that is what I want, to be so close to my Father that I can feel his heartbeat, and know that I am home in His arms. I have tasted the sweetness of my King–that He would even chose to be called mine. I don’t want to forget it. Why have I forgotten it? I want to taste that sweetness again. And I want to rejoice always and pray without ceasing, always walking with the God who chooses to dwell in me.  Oh let Your love come fill me up, I love Your love for me.

Thank you for being a part of my journey. Let us continue to seek our King together. <3

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