I will try to fix you.

Why do we always want to fix things?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but ever since we can remember, humanity has had this burning desire to fix things – objects, relationships, people…

Why?

Is it that maybe we were born with some inherent perception that the world was broken?
That something just… wasn’t right?

Where did that come from?
This idea… that something is broken and WE have to fix it….
And when we can’t… then what?

I’m just wondering when it was that the first person noticed brokenness.
Did they fracture a bone?
Did their shelter fall?
Did someone close to them grow ill?

I can’t fix people.
I can’t fix this world,
I can’t stitch hearts back together,
Or slap a band-aid on poverty.

But I want to.
I have this unrelenting desire for reconciliation.
But where did that come from?

Since the beginning of time, humanity has tried to reach God in whatever way they can…
Building a tower to heaven, setting rules and regulations to follow, crying out in desperation…

I wonder, then, how we were so instinctively aware of such a separation.
We knew that we were separated from God, He was up there, and we were down here, and we needed to do something about it… we needed to fix it.

So we tried, and we still try, and I still try, with all our human efforts,
And I fail.
We always fail.
Because we can’t bridge the gap.

Yes, perhaps we were the ones who broke it in the first place.
I don’t know, is that part of our instinct as well? I mean, would we try to fix something if we weren’t the ones who broke it?
I think now we would, but maybe that’s because somewhere inside us, we feel at least partly responsible, for whatever it is that’s broken. I’m not sure, the line blurs…

But what happens when we can’t fix it?
What happens when someone comes in and says,
“There is nothing you can do. I have already repaired it for you, you need only to accept.”

My girls the other day asked about the idea of God being like “tape.” Meaning, can He tape you back together when you fall apart? It was an interesting concept, and a difficult one to answer.
Because yes, God can piece you back together, but tape just sounds so… messy.
And maybe it is messy. I have no doubt that restoration is a painful and messy process, but I believe that in the end one can be completely healed, without the tape that only masks the tears and jagged edges.
But then again, being broken and being restored changes a person. When you are pieced back together by the God of the Universe, you are not the same as you were before.
My friend visually explained it by the tape being another color, like blue. In that sense, you can see signs of God’s work in the restored person, but you can also see that they were broken.

I feel like I’m covered in a mess of blue tape. And I feel like nobody knows it. But I do.

Tape just sounds so… preliminary to me. Like a starting point. Perhaps a better idea is some sort of glue… or stitching. God can stitch you back together, and for a while, you’ll have stitch marks, but eventually they fade and become a part of you… I don’t know if I’m making any sense here or if I’m even being technically correct…

I just know that God can bring true restoration.
He made us to be restored.
He knew we would break this world He gave us, this life, this relationship,
And He made us anyway, with a plan to fix it – to heal us.
We were made to be restored.
To be reconciled to Him.

Perhaps that’s where our desire to reconcile comes from.
In the book Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus, it talks about the desires we as humans have because we were created in God’s image. For example, we desire to create perhaps because we are like our Creator…

So, maybe we desire – maybe our souls crave – reconciliation, because so does our God.

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2 thoughts on “I will try to fix you.

  1. One of Scott’s talks on the CpR retreat last weekend was about a girl from China who was born with severe cleft palate and her nose in the wrong place. Because of this she was abandoned to an orphanage in China, but later adopted by Americans and brought to the USA. He told the story of how she would dress up everyday in princess clothes, look in the mirror, and wave a “magic” wand at her face in the mirror. Then she started a series of surgeries to repair her broken face. God wants to do surgery on all of us to fix the holes we have. It’s not painless or convenient, but he wants us to be better. Your post reminded me of this idea, so I’m telling you!

  2. Pingback: Chains be Broken, Lives be Healed « The bleeding hearts and artists make their stand…

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